Hope I don't get the flu. I always think this now when I fly. People right in your row coughing a nasty productive cough - covering her mouth with her hand. I hold my breath for a little bit knowing that probably makes no difference, I can't help myself.

I never worried about the flu until this year. This year, I am more worried mostly because we have a little one at work who is so vulnerable. Also now we worry about giving something to mom. Don't want to be the one to give her the flu or a nasty cold when we're so anxious for her to start her treatment.

Last night, right before going to sleep, I actually was able to get to a point where I thought, "Thank you, cancer." I felt able to greet her cancer and just say "OK, thank you for the gifts you have brought us," and really mean it.

The other night Jovi and I were talking about the genetic testing that is now available and how conflicted we are about it. On the one hand you have to think, "This is cool. We could find out our family ancestry just like in that show with Henry Louis Gates, Jr." On the other hand, "Hello Gattica." Yikes. I also think, disease is such an important part of nature. I told Jovi that in no way, given a choice, would I want mom to have cancer. I don't want to be going through this and I especially don't want mom going through this. That said, it has already given our family a wonderful gift. My brother, sister and I know how much we care about each other and how much we will put aside to care for our parents. We know this before they really need it. So many families fall apart during medical crises. I feel a sense of belonging in my family that I've never really felt. We also know how much mom and dad mean to us. It's hard to capture what I'm trying to say here. Again, I wouldn't choose this, but I have to admit that there has been one wonderful benefit and I'm not going to pretend there isn't.

There are many quotes and philosophic statements about how difficulty highlights what we have to be thankful for. I am glad to have heard some of them.