James, You Foiled Me

I tried to cut and paste together some pictures of James Franco's hair to show you just how unoriginal his "style" is, but apparently I'm not licensed to use the pictures... Well, you can just Google "James Franco hair" and come up with some pictures of him yourself. I'm telling you, his hair is so not his own style. I'm older than he is, I've had this hair way longer.  Then again, if little James, I can do anything, Franco can make short curly morning hair a new style, well, maybe that's good for me. Maybe I could just leave the house with this hair and call it Hollywood Maria. I'm going to go fall asleep in some overpriced lecture now. 

James Franco Stole My Hairstyle

James, when you have naturally Bob Dylan hair, you have to get it wet in the morning. You can't just walk out the door, unless you put on a ball cap. It's not a style, it's a condition. 

Just Move

There are mornings where I wake up and tell myself, just move. I start to get lost in a sink hole of thoughts. Thoughts about work, thoughts about family, thoughts about my career, thoughts about upcoming projects and conferences. Thoughts that are half-finished before my brain moves on to the next. Anxious undercurrents. I interject, just get up. Just get showered. Go do yoga, do I have time, I need to be on time to work, did I snooze the alarm, what's up for today at work, did I take care of that contract, did I return that call, I should have planted the rest of the garlic this weekend, I didn't get the desk drawers cleaned out... wait, stop. Just move. Just roll over, shove your legs onto the floor, push up, feet in slippers, body toward the door, wrap yourself in the bath robe, get the bathroom light on. Get the shower turned on - don't want to waste water, that'll get me in the shower. Just move.

Morning thoughts for the week...

Didn't have my day off this week so I don't have one single posting. I can sum up what was going through my head this week though...

First off, how can a person not think about the earthquake, tsunami and then nuclear power plant explosions this week?? While what is first and foremost on my mind is the unimaginable situation people in the affected areas must be going through - I can't imagine trying to get through the next few months and then years really of clean-up and recovery.... I can't help but think about the earthquake that's due here. I have asked myself several times this week what kind of preparations have I made? Would they make a difference? How would you make them make a difference - how would you maximize your preparedness? I am certain that most folks in Japan were at least prepared for the earthquake and as much as possible, the tsunami. I am certain it made a difference in many cases.

Jovi and I have talked before about what we would do if an earthquake happened while we were at work, who would try to get home and who would stay sheltered in place. I know where our camp stove is, where our sleeping bags are. I know where the animal crates are. Would we be able to access them?  We have a barrel of rain water that could be used for drinking if boiled. We always have some canned food. I'm sure many other individuals and families on the West Coast are having the same conversations, if not together at least running through it in their minds. I go to bed each night so grateful not to have been in the disaster. So thankful to have shelter, a warm place to be in, no emergency to attend to (not at home), and that my family is all safe and healthy.

Hello, Good Morning

This is how I feel this morning:

It means, if I hold my eyes open enough, perhaps I will feel awake enough... It's also an "I feel pretty 'cause I had my brows waxed last night," look. I feel like brow waxing removes at least 3 years from my face :  )

Speaking of years, one of my morning thoughts this morning was that I want to have a big birthday party this year. Nothing fancy, maybe bowling like my friend Amy. Just thinking, this is the last time I get to celebrate a 30-something birthday so why not make a big deal out of it? 

I've also been waking up thinking a lot about attachment disorders, what that means to me now, how much I need to think about that and how much I can just "move on" and be in the moment. I'm choosing, when I am conscious of my thoughts about things, to try to take this in an in the moment, awareness challenge. More of a, what might this inform me about how I'm reacting to something or feeling about something right now. Ah therapy, to go once a week or every other week... 

Jumbled

Why did I schedule an 8 AM dental appointment on my day off - for two hours worth of dental work? 

I don't run. What the hell am I thinking? I will be the weakest link. Seriously, who conned me into this? AND I'm running in a tennis skirt? OK, the whole costume part sounds fun. 

Why did I volunteer to make the T-shirts? Oh, wait, I didn't Jovi did. Why am I making them on my day off?

I need to veg today, completely. Yesterday was emotionally hard. I am good at my job, but I don't like telling a family they have to leave when they are sitting in front of me in tears. 

I don't like seeing myself in the angry/sad teenager across from me. 

I love cuddling Jovi. 

Here puppy, come cuddle with us. 

Is that mud on your nose dog??

I need to call mom and grandma. 

My grandma rocks. She is so tough. 

I have attachment issues. Therapy was deep yesterday. 

I judge my own issues so much. 

I am about the happiest I've ever been. 

Catching up with Peter is hilarious. I love our email exchanges. I can't wait to see what he wrote last night. 

I love that there seems to be a thread now running throughout my life, the gap is closing and I feel more whole, more complete, more integrated. 

I loved my two and a half hour lunch with Chris. I love our discussions about life and creativity. 

Time to play music loud and get covered in paint again. 

Errands, schmerrands

Oh damn dental appointment. I could really write a lot this morning.