I dreamt last night that the staff apartment at work had a fire. Poor co-workers were stressed to the max - one trying to study for a final, the other feeling responsible for the fire. I felt responsible for the fire. Felt like I missed something. Wow, I haven't had a dream like that in a while. When I first took on being house manager I woke up every morning thinking about what I didn't know about the house and what I worried I should learn quick. 24, 000 square foot facility with up to 24 families and at least one staff person over night leaves me uneasy at times. I feel so responsible for them all. It's so much easier when I'm there in person. I can jump in and be the one to take responsibility. But when I'm not there, I'm worried about what I'm not seeing. I intellectually know that I do everything I can to make sure the facility is safe, that staff are trained and supported, that I'm available by phone. I know the staff there can handle their responsibilities. I just can't help but have it creep into my dreams once in a while still!
There's some deep lesson here about what we can't see, my literal blind spot, and the beauty of how some Asian art intentionally obscures things or adds minor imperfections. I need a hot shower and another cup of tea before I go there though.
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