Just Dreams

No brilliant ideas, just dreams. This is unusual for me though - the dreams. I don't generally remember my dreams and lately I have. Some are delicious dreams like "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" type flying dreams. Others so definitely related to my daily life. This morning I awoke from a dream in which I was stretching. Yoga style stretches to work out the kinks from the first week back in boxing. Thank god I have a massage in just a bit.

The funniest part about this dream is that it also happens to be my 39th birthday and well, the body is a bit stiffer. That said, I'm also in some of the best shape I've ever been. Thank you boxing. Now the goal is to get in shape for a trip to Peru next year. I plan to be there for my 40th and this time I want to hike the Inca Trail. So I should be in the best shape ever by then.

Why does this matter? Well, I've always had this thought that once a person hits their 30's they have it "all together." They know who they are, what they "want to be," etc. Then the 40's became the new 30's and well, I started to worry that my generation was going to just spend our lives chasing these milestones... like the 50's are the new 40's and so on.

What does this have to do with dreams? Well, not much really, just that I think I'm ending the 30's here on a good note. I think, in fact, that while I don't have all my shit together and I don't exactly know what I "want to be" that I know who I am a hell of a lot better than I did just 10 years ago.

The 30's have definitely been a Jupiter return decade for me. They've been the decade of coming out, getting divorced, starting and finishing grad school, getting remarried, getting a home, creating a home, putting down roots, they have challenged my family with serious illness, and finally they have been about learning to take care of myself.

I'm excited about this 39th year and I'm excited to put a close to the 30's. I am looking forward to my 40's but in a "being in the present" sort of way. I plan to have the last chapter of my 4th decade of life be fabulous. I'm excited for the dovetail of a decade that has pushed me beyond where I thought I was capable of going and brought me back to a self I never knew I possessed.

Happy birthday dear Maria, M, Chris, (er and Crissy too even). MOG you are coming into your own.